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I breathe by having nasal tubing in my nose, which is attached to clear tubing, attached to green tubing, attached to a compressor that makes oxygen rich air from the air in my apartment. I have 75 feet of mobility. I’ve had a love/hate affair with this tubing/compressor for going on three months. I love it because I can breath really well in the high-altitude of Colorado Springs because of it, and, also, my cancer compromised lungs can heal better on oxygen rich air. I probably should stop there, but I’m being honest with you. Sometimes I hate it, meaning, it’s not what I’d choose. Why????

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I hate it because, well, the tubing sometimes has a life of it’s own – if I don’t watch. That’s where the God analogy comes in. I know God is too big, and well, too mysterious, for a perfect analogy, but this is the one I have decided on in order to love my breathing situation more than hate it. Just like me tethered to my tubing, I am getting my every breath from God. But, as I depend on Him for my spiritual breath and life, I have to watch my connection – my tubing. Like the picture above, my relationship can get pinched, I just run out of time to spend any with Him…..

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or tangled……This usually happens when I am trying to do too much, too fast. Has this ever happened to you? Not much oxygen gets to me when either of these happens!

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or tangled and pinched……..That’s the worst, no time for God, and totally overwhelmed with the busyness of life – especially around Christmas.

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or stepped on……….I hate this one. The oxygen supply really goes down. From a spiritual perspective, this is when people tell me I have cancer for some spiritual reason, i.e.: no faith. Boy, that’s a real downer. (Cue gasping, choking sounds.)

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or snagged on something, which makes me stumble……..I’ve actually moved chairs across rooms rather than untangle myself. Ever have a huge weight you carry around rather than just deal with it and get un-snagged? This is kind of like the elephant in the room no one talks about or talks to God about. Or the addiction, or the unforgiveness, or the wounds we drag around rather than untangling from them – with help of course. These days, I ask for lots of help – like, “Can you please step off my tubing?”

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or snagged pinched………When someone sits down while we are visiting and this happens, it’s a little awkward, but I have to ask them to get up so I can breath……with friends, I grab my throat and act all dramatic like I’m dying.

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or caught, snagged around myself, causing me to become immobile or trip………Isn’t that the worst – when we trip over ourselves??? Spiritually, that’s usually when I’m trying to finagle something without any input from the Creator of the Universe. Speaking of HIM……

Here is my Darth Vader of an oxygen machine – the mother lode. My source for breaths each second of each day. (The air going in and coming out sounds like Darth’s breathing.) I can only go 75 feet from THE MACHINE, my oxygen source. After that, I have to either take off my nasal piece, and go on my own, (YIKES! Just think of those spiritual implications!) or I have to back up and work within the boundaries caused by the machine and the 75 feet of tubing. Which reminds me of the verse about God causing our boundaries to lie in pleasant places….

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With my daughter, Katie, before loosing my hair.

So, yes, I do love my oxygen tubing/machine more than hate it, mostly because it reminds me of how God chose me and chose to tether Himself to me through the relationship I have with Him through my faith in Jesus. That was tricky, but I hope you get it. So, 75 feet is all I get right now………oh, unless I use a portable canister, but that’s like going on a missions trip, and a whole new adventure to tell another day!!!

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4 Chemos down, no hair, with tubing and my friend, Alice.

The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. Job 33:4